Do You Want to Be a Likeable Badass? Here’s How to Master It in the Workplace
This guide dives into building influence and authority without sacrificing your genuine self.
Can you command authority while still being approachable? For many, particularly women, navigating the workplace often feels like trying to walk a tightrope. On one hand, they’re told to be assertive, but on the other, they’re expected to remain likeable. It’s a paradox that many leaders face: embodying both strength and warmth, confidence and humility. This dynamic combination, however, is the heart of what it means to be a "likeable badass"—a concept that’s all about aligning power with genuine connection.
The idea of being both respected and approachable may seem challenging, but it’s far from impossible. Leading with strength and warmth isn’t just about managing appearances; it’s about tapping into psychological and behavioral insights to influence others positively while staying true to yourself.
Why Being a ‘Likeable Badass’ Works
At the core of this concept lies the psychology of perception. When people meet you, they quickly assess two things: competence and warmth. Essentially, they want to know if you’re capable and if you care. Studies in psychology reveal that this blend of competence and warmth generates the highest levels of respect and admiration. Why? Because people feel that they’re interacting with someone who not only knows what they’re doing but who also values others’ input.
This balance is often described as the “warmth-competence model,” a framework that suggests people respond most positively to those who demonstrate both traits. Leaders who master this blend are not only respected but are often seen as mentors, motivators, and allies. To put it simply, if people feel they can trust you and believe in your abilities, they’re more likely to support your vision and goals.
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Building Authority and Trust Through ‘Task Cues’
How you communicate both warmth and competence depends on what psychologists refer to as “task cues.” These cues signal your capability and your intentions to others and can be as subtle as a smile or as direct as confidently outlining a plan. For instance, humor can serve as a powerful task cue; making someone laugh demonstrates intelligence and approachability simultaneously. Or consider how helping a colleague with advice or insight shows both your expertise and willingness to connect.
On the other hand, eye contact or the pace of your speech also conveys authority or openness. Frequent eye contact can convey confidence, while a slight smile can soften it with approachability. Similarly, speaking with conviction about a topic, then asking, “Do you think this could work for us?” demonstrates a willingness to collaborate, striking the balance between assertion and respect for others’ views.
While task cues are valuable, they’re not one-size-fits-all. It’s essential to adapt your approach based on the environment and the people involved. A more assertive approach may work better in high-stakes negotiations, while warmth can be particularly effective in team settings.
Rewriting Limiting Narratives
Many professionals struggle with internal narratives that hold them back, such as imposter syndrome or the idea that they shouldn’t care what others think. While these are well-intentioned ideas, they can limit growth and engagement. For instance, imposter syndrome is commonly viewed as a negative, but it can also indicate you’re pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone—a place where growth often occurs. The discomfort you feel when challenging yourself can be reframed as a sign of progress rather than inadequacy.
The narrative of “not caring what others think” can also be misleading. Though it may sound empowering, it can sometimes lead to disconnection from others’ feedback and perspectives. Instead, embracing a balanced perspective—valuing others’ opinions without allowing them to define you—can help build genuine, effective relationships that enhance your career.
Using Everyday Moments to Build Your Narrative
Self-promotion doesn’t have to be loud or overt. Sometimes, the quiet, consistent approach is the most effective. Consider “dual promotion,” where you share your achievements while recognizing the contributions of others. This not only positions you as competent but also shows that you value collaboration. For example, when updating a superior on a project’s progress, mention your role and acknowledge a colleague’s support.
Even small actions, like an out-of-office message, can contribute to your professional narrative. Instead of the standard “I’m out of the office,” consider adding context, such as, “I’m attending a leadership conference to enhance my skills.” Subtle, professional mentions of achievements or experiences in everyday communications can help others see your capabilities without appearing self-promotional.
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The Balance of Taking Risks with Your Status
There’s a common reluctance among leaders, especially those in competitive fields, to risk their established reputation by stepping outside their comfort zones. This reluctance can limit growth and stagnate innovation. When carefully managed, though, risk can enhance your long-term goals by building trust and authenticity.
Think of status as a valuable but replenishable resource. Much like financial investments, sometimes taking small risks can result in long-term gains. For instance, choosing to admit a mistake in front of a team might momentarily dent your image of infallibility but builds a reputation of honesty and approachability. The key is to weigh each risk against your long-term goals. Will this choice align with who you want to become, or does it distract from your vision? When you approach risk as an intentional choice rather than an obligation, it becomes a powerful tool for growth.
Why Being a ‘Likeable Badass’ is an Art and a Science
In the pursuit of becoming a well-rounded, respected leader, balancing assertiveness and warmth is both an art and a science. The “art” involves mastering the soft skills of emotional intelligence, such as active listening and authentic expression. The “science,” on the other hand, involves understanding behavioral patterns and applying them strategically to build influence. This blend enables leaders to drive outcomes while fostering positive relationships.
Being a likeable badass doesn’t mean losing any part of yourself; it means embracing the full spectrum of who you are, from your ambitions to your empathy. This approach isn’t about choosing one over the other but about combining them to build a reputation that inspires and influences. It’s about leading with intention, understanding that true authority is not imposed but earned.
So, if you’re ready to step into a more influential role, start by asking yourself: How can I embody both power and approachability? By combining these qualities, you’ll not only command respect but also inspire loyalty—building a legacy that lasts beyond your tenure.
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